The way things are, is the way things are, dad. February 20, 2025

Aboard the California Zephyr: From Frustration to Perspective

On Thursday, February 20, 2025, I’m traveling aboard the Amtrak California Zephyr from Emeryville to Truckee, California, after a wonderful week or two spent with my one and only, Kate, and her trusty sidekick—and one of my best friends—Kiki. It’s been a fantastic time, but the journey back wasn’t without its speed bumps.

This morning, I hit a few unexpected challenges. It turns out that the reservation I made for my return trip was mistakenly altered last night. And of course, it was my fault! I inadvertently requested a different accommodation than I usually do. As a result, I ended up in coach, stuck in a single seat at the very back of the train, with no meals, no services, and none of the comforts I’ve grown accustomed to on my previous 10-15 trips with Amtrak.

Now, I’m sitting in a row of moderately comfortable chairs, looking out the window, feeling sorry for myself after my mistake.

Half an hour ago, when I boarded the train and was directed to my “seat” on the lower level, I immediately realized something was terribly wrong. I became frustrated, angry with myself for the error, and I sat there, fuming. I cursed under my breath, wishing I could turn back time and fix it. Of course, I knew it was all my fault. When the reservation agent asked if I wanted coach or a “roomette” like I usually request, I simply said “yes,” not fully paying attention. I guess when I heard “coach,” it seemed like the right choice. Oops. My bad.

Now I have to live with it.

And this is the hard part—living with it. It's easy to let frustration take over, to let the situation grow in your mind, and start ruminating. It’s human nature to stew over mistakes. As time goes on, it becomes more difficult to maintain a calm, collected mindset. And I’ll admit, at that moment, I was certainly ruminating.

Side note: I once almost started a band called “Erik T and the Ruminators.” It never happened, but I still think it’s a great name for a band.

But I digress. Back to today’s Rail Tales.

As I sat there, lost in my thoughts and looking out the window, I noticed the beautiful scenery outside. It’s incredible how the landscape shifts as we speed through parts of California that many people never see. Sure, most of us view California through a car window, but from a train, you get to see life from “the other side of the tracks.” And it’s a completely different perspective. Today, after my mishap, that fresh perspective is exactly what I needed to get myself back on track.

In a flash, a brilliant statement from my son, Miles, popped into my head. It was many years ago, when he was still very young, and we were having some sort of conversation or altercation. I was trying to teach him a lesson or discipline him, and I had become frustrated. In the middle of my rant, he turned to me, looked me straight in the eye, and said with complete confidence, “The way things are, is the way things are, Dad.” 🤓

This simple, innocent, yet incredibly wise statement stopped me in my tracks. It changed my mindset in an instant. As my father would have said, it was one of those “A-ha!” moments—something that really made me stop and think.

“The way things are, is the way things are.”

With that little “bump on the head,” my mindset shifted. Of course! It is what it is. Right here, right now. That’s what matters. You can’t change the past. The only thing you can control is what happens next.

So, to summarize: right now, the way things are, is the way things are. And the only thing that really matters—because it's the only thing you can change—is what happens next. What happens next!